The Hands

My bruised heart mourned the absence of Dad, but the machines connected to him in his hospital room, with their rhythmic whooshing and clicking, reminded me he wasn’t gone—at least not yet. The day was sometime in September 2006, in the hazy mass of twenty-four-hour periods, one flowing into the next, in the last week of his life.

My mom, sister, and I had camped around Dad’s bed for months already—not sleeping in the bone marrow transplant wing, although we did that at the very end. Tuesday, September 18, Dad’s official departure date, marked almost two months since the doctors shut down his voice by putting him under sedation, and I was left with his last words to me in July, “I’ll call you back later,” an unrealized souvenir to keep for the rest of time.

Before the machines and monitors ceased for good, though, I spent hours near a motionless and silent Dad, peace thrumming through my veins. The hallmarks of our days—the quiet of the room, Mom’s Bible splayed on a small table, jaunts down the hall for food or drink, the waiting—seemed to be on a forever loop. But one day—similar to the previous ones in every way except one—changed me.

I strode to a nearby single restroom. The sterile look of the small space reminded me again of sickness and The Severing. Exhausted, I washed my hands, assessing my reflection. I bent over the sink, cupped palms under the running water, and doused my face. Two hands, firm and warm, came to rest on my back. Probably Mom or my sister, although I hadn’t heard the door open. I inhaled a sob at the calming gesture, serenity swallowing my sadness, and lifted my gaze from the porcelain to the mirror above it.

No one stood behind me. And the door remained locked.

The weight of the touch slid away.

Over the past sixteen years, I’ve thought of the hands on me in the restroom that day. Last week, I heard someone tell of a time of distress when he had felt hands on his back too. It was likely angels, he said, and maybe the ones assigned to him from the very beginning.

Maybe so.

But I’ve always thought it was God Himself—powerful enough to pierce earthly time, loving enough to interrupt a wounded moment, humble enough to enter a hospital bathroom—Who had visited me that day in 2006.

And maybe that’s true too.

Time will tell.

Miracles: Part 4

Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see. C.S. Lewis

The old-fashioned floor grates were a necessity in the early part of the twentieth century when our old North Minneapolis house was heated by a woodstove in the basement. The stove went away, but the grates remained—one on the main level and one on the floor above—bringing lots of questions from adult guests and endless hours of play for children who, when left to their own devices, would remove the grate on the second level and stick their heads—or dangle a leg—through to the floor below. Those floor grates were built-in monitors in the early days; I could fold laundry in the basement and hear a crying baby two floors above me like she was in the next room.

With all the charm of an old house, however, there were things I didn’t want to know—like what lurked inside the walls. A winged creature stuck behind the plaster flapped until one day the walls fell silent. We later found the bird’s body—fully decomposed—when we opened the little trapdoor on the base of the chimney in our basement. But what I really didn’t want to know about was the electrical wiring hidden behind the walls, done by too many homeowners over more than ninety years.

We had so many power outages in the first couple of years in the house that I asked for a discount on our electric bill a few times and got it. Some of those blackouts affected the neighborhood, some just us. Husband seemed to be away on work travel when those happened, but I was prepared with candles, flashlights stowed around the house, and some foods I could whip up without power.

Husband was on an international trip the day the outlets in the kitchen started snapping. When they began reeking of burned plastic and the breaker blew, I got worried. I dialed Husband’s friend.

“You’ll be fine. That’s what breaker boxes are for,” he said, “to trip the circuits before your house burns down.”

I don’t recall the ending to The Tale of the Stinking Outlets, but the problem stopped with or without our intervention. Later, during some home renovation, Husband learned the mysteries of the breaker box.

“What went off now?” he hollered from the basement. “I just flipped a breaker.”

“The outlet in the bathroom and the light in the guest room,” I yelled back. “Oh, and the ceiling fan in the living room.”

In the early days, our furnace was as reliable as our breaker box was understandable, and I soon realized I could handle the darkness more than I could tolerate the cold. Our service plan through the gas company was solid, though, and a technician usually came to our house within hours. Especially in the dead of winter like that day in January years ago.

“We don’t have the part you need, but we just ordered it,” the repair guy said. “It’s Saturday, though, so it won’t be here until Monday. ‘Course, no deliveries on Sunday.”

“It’s fifty degrees in here,” I said.

“We’ll get you some loaner space heaters.”

The heaters didn’t raise the temperature, but if we stood a certain distance away, we could warm ourselves without burning our coats. Overnight, the temperature in the house dropped. In our many layers, we were sausages sharing a family bed that night.

Sunday seemed endless. We had to get through to Monday when the part would arrive. We lived in outdoor winter clothing. I even pulled on two stocking caps. We drove to a restaurant to thaw ourselves and returned home to snuggle in bed and watch movies.

Sunday evening, a neighbor picked up our girls for an event. I stood at the door and waved goodbye.

“Hey, you’ve got a package there,” he called to me before he climbed into his minivan.

A package from the gas company sat on the front steps: the furnace part slated for delivery by USPS on Monday. A miracle in a little cardboard box.

With gloved fingers, I dialed the familiar phone number. A technician came out, and our heat was restored within the hour.

Husband was away the day the garage across the alley ignited. The girls and I watched the inferno from our back door.

“Wow,” Flicka said in a whisper.

“Yeah,” I said. “Look at those firemen go.”

Another time, from the kitchen window I saw a small circle of flames licking up from the middle of the alley. I investigated. A single book was ablaze. I hustled back to the house and called our neighbor Glenda.

“I could probably put it out,” I said, “but do you think I should call 911?”

“Maybe,” she said. “It might be something explosive.”

Minutes later, a fire truck pulled into our alley. A firefighter jumped out of the cab and strode over to the burning book. He stomped out the flames with his big boot.

Thinking back, I now see our misadventures as miracles. And I see God. And like those parents in ancient times telling their children stories about the column of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night, about their dry passage through roaring waters, and about food falling from the sky when they were starving, I told my little girls about the electrical dangers that amounted to only a bad smell, about the impossible provision of a furnace part one Sunday night, and about the alley fires that didn’t touch us.

And I still tell the stories—even to my grown girls now—so on the days of fears and fires, we can all remember.

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family, neighbors, and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.

Miracles: Part 3

“The bank transaction pages you submitted won’t work,” Jill Brown, the woman from the mortgage company on the other end of the phone line, said. “We need the bank’s URL at the bottom of each page, or the underwriters won’t accept it.” 

My heart raced as sudden paperwork needs for the house purchase slammed us again. It was Friday, February 25, and if all went right, we could close on the place on Monday, February 28.

But all was not going right. 

The thorny path up to that moment pricked my mind again. We had signed a purchase agreement in October 2020 on a gutted home the seller was going to finish for us, but all these months later, several things remained undone—items the seller refused to do for us to meet the VA loan requirements. Our original mortgage financials from months earlier were squared away, back when we thought all would be completed in the house when we moved in. But now we needed a rehab loan to finish the work, and starting late January, we scrambled to provide the necessary documents, the process becoming much more complicated.  

The week had been all about paperwork, and every piece felt dire and impossible. We needed to show proof of a last-minute required chunk of money moving—having cleared one account and posted to another—even though we had initiated the transaction only hours earlier. And we immediately needed a copy of a future bank statement. Since we didn’t have it, I had scanned pages of our financial transactions and sent them off, hoping they’d work, and now we knew they didn’t. The finish line to home ownership neared, but would we stall out because of missing URLs?  

They say God’s never late and never early; He’s right on time. That sounds like good news, but I tried telling that to my stomach, twisting in the dark as I hoped to sleep each night. The ordeal surrounding our new home battered me again, along with all the emotions—anger, fear, anxiety—that had rattled my faith for almost a year and a half.  

Ms. Brown, still on the phone with me, waited. Husband sat in front of the desktop computer, searching for alternate ways to pull up our bank transaction pages showing a URL on each to prove we hadn’t generated the documents ourselves. I clicked around on my laptop too, praying an answer would materialize. But how? The solution to all our problems, the newest bank statement, was days away.  

Ms. Brown drew a breath and delivered a sentence that punched the rest of the air out of me. “And just so you know, we need legitimate proof of your bank transactions before closing today. Keep in mind it’s 3:40 p.m. for you there in Minnesota, but that puts it at 4:40 p.m. here in Michigan where the underwriters are. They close at 5:00.” 

I glanced at the clock as if to verify her words, and an eye twitched. My stomach flipped. Twenty minutes to produce the impossible. Of all the roadblocks, would this be the one to stop the process? The seller had already thrown down every obstacle over many months, wishing to thwart our purchase and sell our house to someone else for more money. And most recently, he demanded a closing of February 28—or else. Or else what? He would take us to court, he threatened, forcing us to sign a cancellation of our purchase agreement, and he would rent out our house, starting March 1. His threats, though illegal, empty, and irrational, still spun me into worry and sleeplessness. And now within the next twenty minutes, the underwriters needed what we couldn’t give them. 

“Can I call you right back?” I asked Ms. Brown. 

After ending our connection, I abandoned my laptop, dropped to the floor, and pressed my forehead against the cool wood.  

God, save us! We don’t have what we need, but You can do the impossible. Do it now! 

Husband pattered away on the keyboard. Distress blanketed me—and so did nausea. Another glimpse at the clock: 3:45. 

I pulled myself off the floor and grabbed my laptop again. We couldn’t get to the bank, request the legitimate proof, scan it, and send it to the underwriters inside of fifteen minutes. So, what could we do? 

I refreshed our online banking page. Wait. Could it be?

The newest bank statement, showing the money had posted to our account, popped up—days earlier than usual. Tears formed, blurring my screen. 

With a new call to Ms. Brown and a few keystrokes, we flew the document to Michigan with seven minutes to spare. 

Never late, never early. But right on time.  

Yes, He is. 

Thoughts on miracles

I'm taking a quick break from my blog series on miracles to say a short something about miracles.

They mark my life. Most often, I see them in places other people might not—like in the small, hidden spaces. But sometimes they’re big and in the open. Like yesterday.

On March 2, 2022, we wrapped up a more than sixteen-month struggle and closed on our new house. From the get-go, it was a wrestling match in the spiritual realm, the likes of which I’ve never known. But like Caleb in the book of Joshua, we took possession of the land. (No worries; we did it through a home loan and title company—not brute means.) We claimed this property for THE MORE that’s coming.

Today, I sit in the emptiness of the new place. This house isn’t about us—or only for us. Never was. Yes, our family will live here. Yes, it’ll look like a normal home. But just watch: through it will flow rivers of Living Water. And more miracles will come.

Stay tuned.

Miracles: Part 2

Dim lights cradled the group at the twenty-plus event, and song and prayer swathed all of us there that Sunday night. An hour had already floated away, but no one made a move to go.

Like pillars, we prayer team members stood along the wall of the great room, waiting for anyone to come. I looked across the sea of young people, and my heart squeezed like it does when I gaze over my own.

The band played, and lyrics wafted through the warmth of the space, a holy weight crushing us:

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me

You have been so, so good to me

Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so kind to me

A girl wove through the crowd and made her way over. Most of us who serve as intercessors aren’t counselors—we don’t pretend to be—but we can see fear coming, and I saw it too as it stopped in front of me, trembling the girl’s hands.

In a quavering voice, she said her name, Marnie, and that her friend Chance was missing. He wasn’t answering his phone. No one had heard from him. Law enforcement was searching too, but so far, no news. And it had been three weeks.

Dread pricked me, and my thoughts tumbled in terrible directions. I tamped down evidence of my worry, though; Marnie didn’t need more.

“May I place a hand on you to pray?” I asked. She nodded and stepped in.

I walked us into the sacred place where humility meets expectation, knowing if God’s will and mine intersected, my request would be granted. Marnie’s sobs shook her, so I asked for God’s peace to blanket her. Even as the words came out, she stilled. More words came to me too, and so did a sense about Chance. And I knew—absolutely knew—he was alive.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights till I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, still You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God.


When I returned home that night, I shared the story of Marnie with my girls. It moved them, and we prayed together for Chance.

The next evening, Flicka and Ricka went to their life group, a group from church that met once a week. They returned hours later, breathless.

“Mom,” Ricka said. “You won’t believe this.”

I stopped my everything and listened.

“Remember Marnie, the girl you told us about last night?” Flicka said.

A breath caught. “Well, yeah.”

“She came to our life group tonight. She told everyone her friend Chance had been missing and that she got prayer from a lady last night. She said she was so sure he'd come back last night too, but he didn't. She was really disappointed,” Flicka said. “But he came back today.”

“Okay.” I pressed my hands to my face, nodding, my eyes filling. “Wow. Okay.”

“She said she wished she could tell the lady who prayed for her that he had come home,” Ricka said. “We told her that lady was our mom. I gave her your number.”

Hope surged. Praise shattered my heart. And my phone buzzed.

A text from an unknown number, I saw through the blur. And I already knew who it was.

Oh, it chases me down, fights till I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God.

(Note: As usual, I've changed the names in the story to protect the people in it.)

Miracles: Part 1

Life’s edge looms, and I have to step off it. It’s a divine invitation, see. And that makes it different from any other offer of excitement. My foot hovers over the chasm, but I know the ground will rise to meet it.

And this has been my life.

“You have more faith than anyone I know,” my friend says. Her statement surprises me. I do?

It’s all about the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, and it often scares me. But it’s the only way I choose to live.

My stomach lurches as I think about the past I’ve walked through in wild faith—like when God called us to give away our house in 2011, and we did—and the future I already live believing it will come to pass, even though obstacles taunt us, saying it’s impossible. Still, I count on an ending I know is coming when I don’t know it’s coming.

Faith in faith is nothing. What good is that? But faith in God—in the reality of Him, the truth of Him, the goodness of Him—is everything.

Several years back, someone at church invited me to step into what I think is one of the least glamorous volunteer gigs in the place. Since I don’t need glitzy to spur me on, I said yes to the request to become a prayer team member, which is really the promise of doing big things in the unseen realm. I can do visibly unfulfilled, often unanswered, mostly unnoticed work, though; I’ve done it for decades in prayer. What I didn’t anticipate was the opposite: the revelation and resolution of things in the short-term and seen realm. They have a word for that concept, and it's miracles.

And that’s where my story starts.


One day a couple of years ago, I sat in a lawn chair in our back yard. August breezes hinted at the soon turn of the calendar’s page, but the sunshine told me summer still thrived. Ricka, age nineteen at the time, rested in a chair next to me, one leg propped. It was just the two of us, and she was silent. I finally glanced at her. Sunglasses hid her eyes, but her mouth wobbled.

I straightened in my seat. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Tears and concerns spilled out. Newly back from a nanny job in Germany, she grappled with her future; what was next? She wrestled with God; was He even good? And she struggled with friends; would she find one who fit her?

“I just want someone I can call anytime, day or night,” she said. “Someone who will do last-minute things—like cliff jumping or rock climbing. Or whatever.”

I rested a hand on her and not steering the requests in any certain way, I lifted them up, my heart hoping most for a close friend for my kid. When I was done with my petition, we basked in the sun longer, soaking in light.

“I think God wants me to be friends with Him first, though,” my girl said, “before anyone else.”

I exhaled my everything. “You won’t go wrong there.”

Six weeks later, after a Sunday morning church service, I took my place along one of the walls of the great room. A few other prayer team members spanned the length of the wall too, available to pray for anyone who asked. Ten minutes passed, and no one approached me. People filed out, chatting with friends as they exited. I waited.

As the next service was about to start, a young woman strode in my direction and stopped in front of me, her features etched in worry. I asked her name, and she told me about her situation too. She had just graduated from college and wondered what to do with her future. And then she voiced a desire.

“I guess I want a friend—someone more like me—going where I’m going. Maybe they like the outdoors, doing things spur-of-the-moment—I don’t know.” Her eyes filled. “I just don’t have anyone I can call whenever.”

Sometimes answers to prayers come faster than I think and in unlikely places, and in this case, right after the 9:30 service on an average Sunday in October. I covered the young woman’s requests, then offered her my idea.

“There’s someone you should meet,” I said. I pointed out Ricka’s location, just outside the meeting place’s front doors, welcoming people into the 11:00 service.

Relationship set-ups don’t always click, but this one between two young women heading in the same direction wasn’t a human connection after all. God had done it but was kind enough to let me in on the plan, to let me witness the moment right before the birth of what would become a deep, enduring friendship.

And my faith grew.

Not all prayer requests are for companionship and find their answer six weeks later, though. Some needs cry out from relationships snapped in two by a severing they never saw coming, from a filed missing person's report, from the torture of not knowing—for too long—the ending of the story.

Come back next week for Marnie's miracle. I'll tell you all about it.

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.

Love does

I pulled this one out of the old files today for my new readers—and for me too. It soothes my heart to reread it and reminds me actions love louder than words.

Happy Valentine’s Day a few days early, dear readers!

*****

In 2006, I dropped out of life.

For some months, I retreated into our family’s story to care for my sixty-seven-year-old dad, a post-bone marrow transplant cancer patient. The church we attended at the time was big, but we were small—a family of five among a multitude of others. We didn’t know too many people, I reasoned, so we probably wouldn’t be missed. But through a friend outside the church, word of what our family was doing leaked to the congregation.

And the church ladies came.

One by one over many weeks, those ladies drove to our house and climbed our front steps to drop off tuna noodle casserole, fried chicken, tater tot hotdish, burritos, rice dishes, salads, cakes, brownies, garlic bread, and more. Twenty-six meals in all.

And each bite tasted like love.

Sometimes the ladies called first to let us know they were on their way. Sometimes they knocked on our door to signal their deliveries. Sometimes they deposited their edible gifts—without a word—into the designated cooler on our porch and tiptoed away.

No one left her name. No one paused for a thank you. And no one expected anything of us, strangers to them, caring for our immunosuppressed loved one.

Even though our three girls were tiny and Dad’s care was intense, we didn’t need the meals, I told myself. Those meals should be for those struggling more than we were. Feeling undeserving, I phoned the warm meal ministry coordinator to thank her.

“God must think you really need it,” she said. “The response has been overwhelming.”

No sound made it past the lump in my throat. Instead, I nodded into the receiver, absorbing all their love through the phone lines.


Because our culture says to, I think of romantic love each Valentine’s Day—but only for a few seconds. Then I remember those church ladies who delivered casseroles instead of counsel, salads instead of sermons, and homemade desserts instead of stories of their own pain.

Love. It’s everything, which goes without saying. But what I learned from those church ladies was love does without saying too.

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family, neighbors, and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.

Winter vs. spring

This blog installment from late March 2019 has all the angstiness that comes with Minnesota winters running about two months too long. Since it’s only early February right now, my attitude toward Tundra Time is still like a grown-up helping someone else’s two year old into her snowsuit, which is to say enduringly patient.

Check back in with me at the end of April.

*****

One day last month, I contemplated the coldest season of the year, and my thoughts turned as icy as the sidewalk in front of me.

The City’s snow emergency rules had given me whiplash: “Because of the storm, park on the even side of the street now, the odd side tomorrow, and the even side again the next day—but wait! Because of the total snowfall and narrowing of the streets, let’s now only park on the odd side until April 2—or until further notice. But hold on! Here comes a fresh dumping of snow, so let’s go back to the normal snow emergency rules for a few days—even, odd, even—and then we’ll resume the only-park-on-the-odd-side-until-the-spring-thaw rule, okay?”

It wasn’t the City’s fault. What else could they do? The weather had forced every last one of us into the competition of Winter vs. the Minnesotans. I grabbed my shovel, hoping for victory.

“Be sure not to park on the even side,” Husband said to one of the teenagers after another of the City’s snow emergency declarations.

But life is full and far too distracting for kids these days, so her dad’s warning fled my girl’s mind as she parked on the even side of the street the next day at school. A tow truck whisked her car away to an impound lot faster than she could say, “Dad, I need a new scraper. Mine broke.”

She texted me. My car got towed

I sighed. Oh no... What are you going to do?

Use my feminine wiles to get it back

My laugh startled the dog. Good luck!

Thirty minutes passed. My phone pinged.

Mom, can you transfer $150.00 from my savings into my checking

Winter vs. the teenager. Winter won.


One night recently, I let Lala, our dog, out in the back yard to visit the facilities. She trotted down our brick walk, pointed in the direction of the garage. The motion sensor light flicked on, its brightness glancing off a miniature skating rink on her path. Of course she would see it, wouldn’t she? Dogs were smart that way. Instead, she hit it just right and slid, her four legs slipping out from under her. She toppled onto her side. Uh-oh. She wriggled to standing, did her business, and headed back toward the house. But her paws caught the same icy patch, and down went our sturdy girl—again.

Back in the house, Lala chose the treat I offered her over my condolences. As usual, she was fur-wrapped exuberance—and unhurt—but my tolerance for winter plummeted to zero. If our four-legged loved one with a low center of gravity could lose her footing just like that, what hope was there for the rest of us?

Winter vs. the dog. Winter won.


“What were the newscasters calling this winter again?” I asked Husband last night.

He scrolled through Hulu selections. “The winter of my discontent?”

“I mean, it was record-breaking, and the biggest snowfall since when?”

He landed on a show. “Who can know.”

I pulled myself out of hibernation mode to do some searching and found the National Weather Service’s claims. The Twin Cities received thirty-nine inches of snow in February 2019, breaking the previous record of twenty-six-and-a-half inches, set in 1962.

So much to melt away; so little patience for it all to go.

“It’s spring tomorrow, though,” I said, hoping to cheer myself, “so this should all be over, right?”

Husband clicked pause. “I hear there’s snow coming on April 2, but what do they know?”

I harrumphed. Maybe it wouldn’t materialize. Or maybe it would. Either way, when it was winter vs. spring, it was easy to choose a side.

And I wouldn’t stop cheering until it was over.

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family, neighbors, and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.

Lessons in the cold

Which should come first: the baby or the snowshoes? I flip the options over in my brain several times as I drive to Victory Memorial Parkway in North Minneapolis. Snow, thick and pristine, blankets the expanse, begging me to mar it, to set my human stamp on its newness.

As we roll along, the little guy in my care—a one year old, snuggled in his snowsuit and buckled into his car seat in the back—peeps through the windows at the frosty world outside. He has no idea of the fun to come. But the question again needles me. How will I manage this alone? At the parkway, should I put on my snowshoes first, plug the baby into the carrier I’ll wear on my front, and go? Or, should I get him situated in the carrier on me first, then step into the snowshoes—working around the bulk of him to get them adjusted—and go?

I settle for the first idea—which now seems so obvious the initial question is absurd—stealing the advice of flight attendants everywhere about first helping oneself before aiding another. Once I fasten my snowshoes, I wriggle the baby into his carrier, and he squawks at the tugging. This will be an excellent workout; my heart rate is already elevated from the effort before I take my first clomping step onto the sheet of white.

Fresh flakes skitter in the air around us, and the little boy grimaces. I tromp thirty paces. A passing pickup truck driver honks, flashing me a grin and thumbs-up. I beam back, but I was already smiling.

As I plod on, the baby scowls. Maybe he’s more irritated than amused? At least the fresh air is good for him. I recall the Scandinavian cultural practice of bundled babies, lined up in their buggies outside of coffee shops or daycare centers or on balconies, taking their naps outside in the winter. The Nordic parents believe the crisp air keeps their little ones healthier and fosters better and longer sleep.

The concept called friluftsliv translates to “spending time outdoors to get a change of scenery and experience nature with no pressure to compete or achieve” and is started in infancy in those northern countries. It’s the idea that “returning to nature is coming home.” Strong immune systems and resilience in even the toughest conditions are the benefits of this kind of snoozing so early in life, they believe.

I think of the “hardening off” of tender seedlings now, the practice of gradually introducing baby plants, in stages, to the great outdoors to grow them thicker, sturdier, and better able to adapt to summertime extremes.

If it works for babies and plants, this toughening to weather and change, what about for the rest of us? And what about in other areas beyond the climate? What about in the matters of life?

The lesson runs deep, as deep as the snow I slog through now, and I feel it in my soul. The hard goes deeper than I think is good, and the cold lasts longer than I feel is kind. But I’m still taking steps in it all, and I’m getting stronger.

I’m getting stronger every day.

The smile

The line snaked around inside the coffee shop and ended at the door. Husband and I waited behind a family of four. As we bided our time, I browsed the clearance t-shirts rolled up in a basket. On a shelf nearby sat mugs for sale—beautiful, tempting, still overpriced.

The father of the family ahead glanced back at us. He did a double-take before flipping his gaze forward again. Next, the boy shot us a look, and so did his sister—a girl of about ten years old.

We ordered our coffees and curved to the left to wait for our drinks. The family also waited. The boy whispered something to his mother, and she swiveled to look at us.

I furrowed my brow. Did we seem familiar for some reason?

“This is weird,” I whispered to Husband. “Why do they keep looking at us?”

“They probably think you’re famous.”

I tilted my head at him. “Riiight.”

The little girl, clutching her drink now, faced me—and stared. Then she smiled. No flash of teeth—just a serene, kind smile. I smiled back.

We left the coffee shop. The memory of the girl’s expression plucked at my outlook—and heart—and undid the strange behavior of her family.

“Have you ever thought about a smile from a stranger?” I said to Husband when we were back in the vehicle with our lattés.

“Not really.” Husband sipped his drink and started the car.

“It’s a private exchange between two people,” I said. “What does it mean to you?”

“Smiles aren’t always a good thing. They can be sinister or leering.”

“But when they’re not, I mean.”

He shrugged. “They’re just nice.”

The girl’s smile in that coffee shop was a tiny gesture. It took her a second, but I mulled it over for a week. A simple, silent gift with no cost attached to it, and yet it warmed me. No expectations or hidden messages beyond “We’re both doing life in the same place right now, and I see you.”

A smile for a stranger. I think I'll put it on my to-do list today.

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family, neighbors, and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.

Christmish fish

On the morning of Lille Julaften—the Norwegian “Little Christmas Eve,” December 23—I tapped coffee grounds into the pot’s basket for our morning brew, sensing the gaze of little eyes. There on the counter by the kitchen sink was a Kerr canning jar, minus its lid, filled with water. Inside, a goldfish swam laps.

Oh great.

Memories of fish floated into my thoughts. In our family’s past, we had only known betta fish—those beautiful albeit aggressive creatures who couldn’t share a living space because they’d eat each other to death. Our girls had separate bowls for their three aquatic divas, but if they positioned them too closely together, the tenants glimpsed their neighbors and puffed themselves up in anger.

The fish on our counter that day was likely more peaceful, but there were other concerns. Couldn’t this type grow massive, depending on the amount of space a person gave it? And didn’t it need special accommodations—like an aquarium—to survive?

I learned the lone fish’s backstory. A friend of the girls had given each person in their friend group a fish the previous evening. And suddenly we didn’t have one fish anymore, but four—three belonging to our girls and a fourth that someone at the Christmas gift exchange either couldn’t care for or had forgotten—and they all showed up in their individual jars from who-knows-where later that day. They already had names—Jet, George, Stella, and Lil’ Tom—and I was informed a fifth called Ting had expired en route.

As for the swimmers' trek to our place, I heard all about their ride in a cold car in water that may or may not have been appropriately conditioned and how the finned ones had probably gone without food for a solid day. I cringed at the neglect, but a wave of guilt sloshed over me as I remembered how years earlier, in a flurry to head out of town on vacation, I had flushed one of our bettas who, although nearing his end, was not quite dead, so I wasn't one to talk.

Later that afternoon, I was about to set up the lefse equipment for making the traditional Norwegian treat when Flicka and Ricka returned from PetSmart with supplies. Soon the kitchen table was filled with an aquarium, rocks, plastic plants, water conditioner, and fish food.

“How much did all of this cost?” I said, hoping I sounded calm.

“About a hundred bucks, but we all chipped in,” Ricka said.

“Oh, how sickening. How much were the fish, I wonder?” I said the last more like a statement but got my answer anyway.

“Thirty-three cents each,” Flicka said with a laugh.

I wrinkled my nose.


To make a long (inconsequential) story short, in three days’ time we had zero fish left but one gently used aquarium that can be for sale if you live in the area and have any interest.

Happy New Year to you all! May you live, and unlike us, let live in 2022!

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family, neighbors, and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.

Your new year, your new words

Last week I invited you to share the word you chose to inspire your new year. Here's what some of you sent me. Enjoy!

*****

My word for the year is enough. This word represents two different thoughts for me, both of which (I hope) will allow me to access strength and peace this year. First, enough reminds me to stop whatever it is that I am doing excessively—worrying, overeating, being critical of and shaming myself, complaining about (you name it). Second, enough reminds me to focus on abundance; there is enough—love, compassion, friendship, intimacy, time... So that is my word for 2022. Enough.

Deborah, Hudson, Wisconsin

*****

My word for the year is discovery. It was chosen for me in November as I looked back on the year and marveled at how God had fulfilled conquest (my 2021 word) in my life in so many ways. He gave me discovery then so that I could see and understand the way He planned to shape my new year. This isn’t a word I would pick out myself (same goes for 2021 conquest), it sounds too much like I’m a voyager exploring new land and planting flags on hills. But God knows that I love to learn, so discovery makes me excited even if it sounds a little cheesy.

Marc, Wooster, Ohio

*****

For 2022, I choose GRACE. It’s a 5-letter word that holds so much hope. Ephesians 1:7-8 sums it all up- “In Him we have redemption of his blood, the forgiveness of our sins, according to the riches of his GRACE which he LAVISHED upon us.” In 2022, I will give more grace, abound more in His grace, and share His grace.

Christine, Cypress, California

*****

Rejoice!

“Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice.”

Even in the midst of my trials and disappointment, God has kept me and given me peace. For this I am thankful and joyful.

Armanda, Saint Paul, Minnesota

*****

My word of the year is intentional. I so often respond to the things of life without giving it the thought it deserves. Intentionally stopping what I am doing and praying for God's understanding of the situation would do wonders for me and how I react to things. Intentionally evaluating my feelings and reactions to things would help me understand God's will for my life. I have a long way to go, but this is a start.

Barb, Thief River Falls, Minnesota

*****

My word of the year is vessel. I chose this word because it kept popping into my head since summer of 2021, and it kept showing up everywhere else too.

Garrett, Marksville, Louisiana

*****

Mulling over the words I considered candidates for my 2022 word of the year, I passed over so many relevant, encouraging words. But I kept racking my brain for the one that best conveyed what my heart and mind wanted to cling to. My pondering sent me back to a verse I remembered reading in Scripture from one of the parables Jesus told (Luke 19). In that verse, I found my word: occupy. In other Bible versions, the single word is replaced by a phrase: “Engage in business until I come” (ESV); “Do business till I come” (NKJV).

To me, all these meanings convey the idea that the servants in the parable were expected to conduct the master’s business on his behalf, using all the resources he was leaving with them. There! That explained it! When I tried to explain my thinking about this word while visiting with friends, one of them said it was another way of saying “Keep on keeping on!”

Being retired, having a few physical challenges, and living alone threaten to be roadblocks in my journey, but I have chosen to accept those hindrances and reach beyond them by teaching and serving in every way I can, humbly and gratefully using the abilities and talents the Master has given me.

Avis, Newfolden, Minnesota

*****

New year, new word

A word comes to me about this time each December, and it sets my focus for the year ahead. Do you choose a word as you enter the new year too?

In 2020, my word (or sentence, rather) was COUNT IT ALL JOY, and it reminded me how to respond in a year of uncertainty.

In 2021, my word was ABUNDANCE, and I got it—in all areas of my life that really matter.

A few weeks ago, my word for 2022 sparked to mind while I was busy not thinking about it. And it came in as sure as truth:

ABIDE

None of the dictionary’s definitions of the word—to bear patiently, tolerate, endure, withstand, remain, continue, stay—comfort me in the physical realm. But another Source lifts me out of it.

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Now what about you, reader? Do you have a word to inspire you this new year too?

If you’d like to share it, send me a message HERE with your word for 2022 and why you chose it, and I’ll publish your writing in next week’s blog. (Subscribers, simply hit reply to this email.)

Happy New Year!


Snow day

All through the night last night, winds buffeted our place. The weather reports warned of “an unprecedented outbreak of severe thunderstorms,” coupled with a tornado watch, something Minnesota had never seen before in December.

It turned out we weren’t in fact sucked up in a funnel cloud, but winter storm memories gusted in anyway. Enjoy this piece from yesteryear.

*****

The wind rattled our Ranch-style house in Middle River. Had our place been a victim of a snowball fight in the night? It appeared so; great clots of snow stuck to my bedroom windows, obscuring the view.

I flicked my gaze to the clock. 5:35 a.m. The blankets on my bed usually kept me in their cozy clutches on a school morning, but not today. Maybe they sensed my excitement at what was to come.

I padded into the kitchen. Outside the window whiteness swirled, and the crabapple in the front yard was an apparition in the dim light. A gust picked up a load of snow from the roof and flung it off, blotting out any sign of the tree. My siblings and I wouldn’t be expected to brave these conditions to go to school, would we? Was fifth grade really that important for me to risk my life getting there?

I scurried to my parents’ room. The only one in the world who had the power to call off school that day was still in bed next to Mom, his arm curled around his transistor radio. The brown, leather-covered box crackled out weather updates, and my heart lurched with hope.

“Dad, Dad,” I said, making prayer hands, “please call off school today. Please.”

The superintendent of three small schools in northern Minnesota, wearing boxers and a v-neck undershirt, threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood. “We’ll see.”

I pranced back to my bedroom, a smile splitting my face in two. The day was mine—I just knew it. Adventures beckoned, and I tugged on my snowsuit.

On Monday, January 22, 2018, I navigated a snowy city to collect my girls. I thought of Dad calling off school decades earlier when blizzards blasted our tiny town near the Canadian border. On stormy days, he got dressed in the wee hours and drove the country roads a few miles in each direction to see if they were passable. He would make a decision about school and report it to KTRF, the radio station in the neighboring town of Thief River Falls.

Winds whipped up the falling snow as I sat in the Honda at Target Field waiting for my high schoolers to emerge from the train. I scrolled through my phone for weather reports. The girls soon tromped through the precipitation to the car. When they opened the doors, snowflakes and exuberance blew into the warm space.

“I asked Mr. Aponte if we could have a snow day tomorrow,” Ricka said.

I chuckled. As if the principal of one city school could alone make the decision. “And?”

“He said, ‘We’ll call you.’”

Nature worked hard that night to put a halt to our plans—to pull us into an adventure. And true to Principal Aponte’s word, they called us.

After the shoveling the next morning, the girls donned bikinis and bolted into the back yard for The Snow Dive Challenge, which wasn’t a dive at all, but instead a quick roll through the nine-inch-deep accumulation. Drawn by all the shrieking, the dog zipped outside too, probably hoping to join in on all the reindeer games. Within seconds, though, it was over. The girls dashed back inside, leaving the animal cocking her head at the back door.

Dad and the local radio station announced the weather cancellations of my childhood; robocalls and the internet announced my girls’. A hallmark of my snow days? Snowsuits. A sign of my girls’? Swimsuits—at least this time. But whether announced by airwaves or on a website, whether we’re bundled up or bared, a snow day is a free day.

And there’s always adventure.

*Names in this blog have been changed to protect my family, neighbors, and friends in the neighborhood, and in a nod of appreciation to the beloved Swedish author Maj Lindman, I’ve renamed my three blondies Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka.